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| Since all my recent posts have been about matters of the heart, I decided to...not be serious for once and remember the past.
I was always a good child. I was kind to people, I told the boys I could hug but NOT kiss, all the little girls looked up to me (as encouraged by their parents) but you know, under the influence of my sister anything can go awry.
I still managed to turn out ok I guess, but really, I've always been mischievous and I can't really blame that on my sister. That's just me.
So...some of my crowning accomplishments.
-Minty Fresh-
I never stole anything from a store but once I found tic-tac stocking stuffers in my mom's closet. Unfortunately, my brother (notorious for tattletaling) found me before I could enjoy me new found prize. I made a diplomatic offer to share, but he took off. I shrugged off his threats and enjoyed a few then put them back. Couldn't escape the closet before my mom arrived. I lied...but my breath betrayed me.
-Witch Adoption-
Everything always happened when my mom left the room. She was away at the store or something when Elisa and I came up with the brilliant idea of convincing Trevor (4 or 5) of something. We hauled a huge cardboard box into the room and told him his time with us was up and we had to send him back to his original mother, a witch. The poor guy was very quiet and got into the box softly crying. My mercy kicked in, but Elisa was quite persistent. We taped up the box right when my mom came home so we took off....I have no idea how that ended.
There's more but I don't feel like writing them right now :P Maybe to be continued....
Suffice to say, I fought alot of fights (bit girls, kicked boys butts) so maybe I can win at life. :)
Till another weblog finds me,
-T | | |
| I don't know what to say because there is too much going on, so I'll just say random things that probably won't go together or make sense.
If I'm not allowed to be who I am I will slowly lose myself.
I'm not mad, but frustrated sometimes.
I am now analyzed to be strong, a good girl who doesn't take care of herself, someone expected to help others, and one who is in deep mourning for themselves being slowly smothered. A bunch of other sappy stuff too. Suggested prescription is to get away. Yeeeeah sure.
Christmas is apparently created to be the most painful day of the year for me. :)
God is awesome....though I don't get what He's doing sometimes.
Hard work rests the mind.
And life is sometimes lonely.
And recently I have discovered that if I tell someone a little of what is happening in my life, they are officially speechless and wide eyed, they back away. :)
And as weird and probably depressing as that all sounds, I am perfectly fine, trusting, surviving, and don't worry bout me. | | |
| It's not late but I should probably be sleeping because I work 8 hours tomorrow, but I feel like I should post something...maybe just for the chance to get one of the millions of things off my mind. Seems like I'm always thinking....which could be a bad thing. I'm kinda tired of thinking.
For starters life is busy but not...busy in the sense that work and college and stuff is going on but not busy in the sense that I'm not out with people a TON...I do get out sometime. For example tonight we had a grad social and gift exchange. All the guys fought over my Chuck Norris poster...which was amusing.
Friday I had auditions which went great, though I must admit it's frustrating when new year students proclaim that they'd better get the leads....they still have time. :)
Saturday I had SATs...and I felt like they went pretty good. I did my best and I can't ask for more. :)
But aside from the trivial things in life (yes, SATs do feel trivial compared to the big picture) I guess the overall feeling is loneliness.
NOW before you all (well, who is actually reading this anyways?) say "AWWWW" or say "You have no reason to be lonely cuz you have God" I will just say I don't need pity, and yes, God is the One I lean on...but sometimes I wish for someone visible. Seems like everyone's too busy...or yeah, to be my friend.
What exactly do I mean by friend? Let me spell this out. A friend is someone who cares about you, who tries to know you, who longs for the best for you. A friend cares about how they affect you, and thinks out how their actions may hurt you...and isn't selfish. A friend doesn't make excuses for people who have hurt you...but hold you and say they understand and they will go kick that person's butt. A friend encourages. A friend drops everything to help you when you're worried about something...whether a life problem, a test, something that's been on your mind. A friend isn't afraid to just sit in the silence and hold your hand and wait till you can talk. A friend hopes for all things, endures all things. A friend doesn't lie to you....EVER. A friend keeps chasing you even when you run away. A friend isn't afraid to let go of something with the risk of falling...for the chance of you. A friend tells you when you've messed up, and doesn't get mad when you lovingly do the same.
And if you stick with your friend through their mistakes...shouldn't they do the same?
And apparently a friend doesn't exist.
Seems like I've gone through life with this picture and now I'm wondering if anyone feels the same. People like when I do this to them...but seems like I don't ever get it in return. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. Maybe I have a third eye or something wierd....maybe I snarl at people? IDK.
*sigh* Yes, I can speak my mind sometimes...mostly when I have coffee....that's a secret though.
Anyways yes, I feel strangely confused by the actions of alot of people right now. And lonely. But God teaches through these times.
Sincerely,
Someone who's obviously the only one from some unknown planet
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| With the snow falling down...listen to some quiet music that sends you to another place...
These are some that help me fall asleep or dream.
A Kaleidoscope of Mathematics
Bloody Tears
la morte fragile
Where Dreams are Born
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| I'm tired of waiting on the bench for someone's hand that I doubt I'll see....ever | | |
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